just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
