i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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