Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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