I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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