Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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