My balls are so social today.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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