My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Even my vagina gasped.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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