I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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