Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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