PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
