we're blogging at a bar
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
