I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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