well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
