how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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