a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
