They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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