i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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