The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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