I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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