That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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