I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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