Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
did you just send me my own nude
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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