I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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