just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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