in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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