So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
