Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
