I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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