I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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