the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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