So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
