Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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