well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize