ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
