i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
