8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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