dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize