I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
