I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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