You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
