Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
