Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
