Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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