thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
