Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
