I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
