did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
then he tried to convert me to islam
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize