let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
