Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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