I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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