no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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