No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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