Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
