sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize