K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
