Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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