its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Terrible idea I love it
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
