You can't special order awesome
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
