you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my sisters under your porch take her home
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
