just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
